General Growth

I Wish I Could Start My Life Over – Really?

I can’t count the number of times I’ve had this thought in my mind, especially, after I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I always felt as though certain events in my life caused my bipolar disorder so if I’m able to turn back time, I would no longer have bipolar disorder. If you haven’t noticed, I have a contact us page on my blog and get several emails each week from people with and without bipolar disorder. Those living with bipolar disorder send through questions or need someone to speak to which is why I started the BipolarDigest Community. Those people without bipolar disorder send emails to find out more about mental illnesses and how they can find out if they have bipolar disorder or not. I try to answer every email within 1 day. Anyways,

I have a lot of people who send emails wishing they can end their life and start over. This hits home for me because I’ve lived with these same feelings for several years until I started to put things into perspective. You need to know that starting your life over is NOT an option and never will be. You can never turn back the hand of time, but you can decide right now to change the direction your life is heading in.

Why This Thought Slows Progress

Consuming your mind with this these types of thoughts will hold you back from appreciating what you currently have in life. Whenever I would say to myself –  I Wish I Could Start My Life Over – I would stop appreciating the wonderful things which surround me right now. It’s hard to focus on the positives when you are constantly focusing on the negatives. Instead of you taking the time to solve problems, you begin to create a lot more in your life which is NOT good energy for you.

When you stop wishing for another life, you can make the right decisions which better the life you have right now. This is known as positive progress forward and will begin to change your life for the better. Over time, I understood the negative patterns in my life and corrected them by deciding to no longer have them hold me back. It’s weird because I never thought I had the ability to do this but what a learning process it’s been for me. The greatest lesson I’ve learned is that you conquer anything you put your mind to.

Things Happen For A Reason

I know many of you might not agree with me when I say that everything in life has happened to you for a reason. Yes…that’s right! Even being diagnosed with bipolar disorder has been a blessing in disguise. I think about the path I was on before I was diagnosed and how I would have destroyed my life if I kept going down that path. The only reason I was forced to stop a lot of what I was doing was because of my bipolar diagnosis. For example, I had to put my overall health, especially mental health, as my number one priority. Bipolar forced me to slow down my life and start to focus more on myself and NOT others. But, here’s the greatest lesson – my ability to handle and overcome adversity.

Bipolar disorder has made me a stronger person. It’s made me a person with great empathy towards others. It’s made me want to prove to everyone else that people with bipolar disorder can conquer what they put their minds to. It’s forced me to not give up and find solutions to every single problem I encounter. It’s made me responsible and passionate.

I was never this type of person before, but certain events in my life have made me who I am today. So, this is why I say things happen for a reason because if they didn’t, then what driving force would you have to change.

Life Is About Learning

Let me ask you a different question – Why would you want to start your life over again? Think about all the knowledge you’ve gained over the years and what you’ve learned. This knowledge and experience only comes with time and adversity. It only comes when you experience both the good, and the bad throughout life.

Every time I would tell myself that I hate my life and wish I could start over, I forget this would mean that I would lose all the life lessons I’ve learned along the way. I would be starting with a blank disk not knowing how to handle some of the toughest situations in life. Then, I would question starting over and would be grateful for all the wonderful things I’ve experienced and been through. After all, these experiences have made me the man I’ve become today.

In the end, life is about learning and becoming better so it doesn’t matter under what circumstances you’ve decided to change. In my case, bipolar disorder forced me to hit the pause button to re-evaluate my life, and I’m truly grateful for it. I sometimes forget that life is about learning and you can’t live a perfect life without adversity. It’s just impossible.

Really…Start Over?

When I ask myself if I “really” want to start my life over, the answer is very simple – No.

I break it down to what I’ve learned throughout life and how bipolar disorder has made me a better person. I mean, sure there are a few things I wish never happened, but I know deep inside they happened to me for a reason. Whatever I’ve been through has made me stronger and provided me with life lessons which I won’t be able to get anywhere else. So, I want you to take time to question what you’ve been through and seen in life. I want you to think about how these things made you a better person and if you would be where you are if it wasn’t for these life experiences.

I think it’s very scary to keep wishing to start your life over because this thought can stop you from appreciating the wonderful things you have right now. This is one wish which will not come true because you can never change the past…right? But, you have the power to change the future by learning from the past and not making the same mistakes.

Question –

Do you still wish you can start over? What makes you want to start your life over? Bipolar? Or something else? Leave your thoughts in the comment box below.

 


BipolarDigest
Helping others beat bipolar disorder. After living with Bipolar for over 16 years, I have self-educated myself to come up with creative ways to live a normal productive life. It`s time to give back by helping others transform!
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