I have my days where I feel like completely giving up on life. Some days, I feel like I’m progressing just fine, but others I have these negative thoughts which keep entering my mind. I guess I feel like giving up on the days I’m faced with extra challenges or when I’m plain old tired. It’s amazing because some days I feel like I can change the world, then “boom” something happens and I feel like I have no control at all. It’s a vicious cycle which never stops and I don’t think it will.
Being scared sucks. You feel weak when you’re afraid of things because in society people look at weak people as less. I look at being scared as having fear of doing things. It’s a feeling which stops you dead in your tracks because the fear of something happening is the same as being scared of it happening. Does that make sense? Anyways, an interesting story made me want to put this content together. It’s more of an open journal entry for all of you to read. I’m always trying to make sense of my feelings so they work for me not against me. I’m trying to be more conscious about my feelings and how they improve me as a person. So, let me tell you what happen today which made me want to write this journal entry (content).
For years, I’ve been curious about the power of visualization and the principles of law of attraction. In other words, the principle stating – through visualization you can attract whatever you desire in life. When I first read about the law of attraction, I thought it was bullshit, here’s why –
First, it was completely new to me so naturally, I had my guard up. Secondly, I struggled with keeping my mind clear of negative thought patterns so had a hard time believing in something different. This all changed when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder because I knew it was time for me to transform my life for the better. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering what I could have accomplished if I put my mind to it.
From a young age, I’ve had dreams of starting my own business and achieving a certain level of success in different areas of my life. To help, every day I started reading books and blogs on mindfulness, motivation, self-improvement, and manifestation. While reading, a common theme was the principles of law of attraction, and how it can be a powerful tool in transforming your life.
After being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I’m become more intrigued with the human mind. I want to know what causes people to view external situations differently. For example, two people can be in the same exact situation as each other and have a completely different perspective on it. One will view it as a positive learning experience, and the other completely opposite—as something negative. Here’s what’s even more intriguing…
If you view it positively, you’ll attract the same kind of energy your way, allowing you to overcome adversity with less of an impact on your mind. However, if you view it negatively, you’ll face a different kind of energy; one which holds you back, causing anxiety and stress. I believe this is what leads to low productivity, depression, low self-esteem, and poor confidence. How do I know this?
First, let me start off by apologizing because I’m late posting this update. The March 2017 Goals should have been posted on March 01, 2017 with an update on February’s Goals at the same time. Going forward, I’ll make sure things are smooth and updates are posted at the beginning of the month.
In mid-February 2017, I started this series to track my progress and be transparent with all of you. I lost my job around this time so I wanted to show all of you what I was doing to earn income. This included trying things I’ve never done before and post the results so all of you could do the same. After skimming around the mental health forums, I noticed how many people living with bipolar were having a hard time finding and maintaining a steady career. The solution for me was to go into business for myself; you’d be surprised how many opportunities you have available online. For example, shortly after losing my job, I started freelancing on Fiverr.com and was able to earn $165.00 in one week with the possibility of doubling it later on. But, I’ve paused my Fiverr gig for now because I was able to secure more freelance work through another website, which I’ll be writing about next week. I’m putting together a step-by-step tutorial for all of you so stay tuned. With that said…
I encourage all of you to visit My February 2017 Goals and Life Update before continuing to read this because it will give you a glimpse into what I had planned for February 2017. Either way, I’ve provided a breakdown of each goal below and if I was successful in completing it.
When I told you about losing my job, I promised when I found ways to make money online that I would share it with all of you so you could start doing the same. I read in mental health communities how tough it was for people with bipolar to find workand/or keep a steady job. Well, here’s a great alternative you should consider, which allows you to work from home and earn decent money.
I’ve been trying new things online to make money because I lost my job last week. I decided to try a freelance network called Fiverr.com. I’ve had an account on Fiverr for a while, but never really set it up until I lost my job. Fiverr is free to join, so you should check it out. Even if you have a full-time job, it’s a great way to earn extra money without the added stress because you set your own hours, deadlines, and price.
Here’s how it works. The platform connects buyers who need online work done with sellers who can do it for them. Some gigs includes writing content, designing websites, doing small coding projects, transcribing video, creating a logo design, creating audio and video editing. You can pretty much post anything into one of these categories, and set a maximum price of $5.00. The cool thing is once you’ve built your reputation after working on a few projects, you’ll be able to add gig extras, allowing you to make more money.
I’ve always struggled with getting things done, and it took me awhile to find a strategy that works. When I first got diagnosed with bipolar in 2000, I really didn’t know what to expect and how to balance my work. It didn’t help that when people learn you are bipolar, you lose many opportunities that come your way. Companies are afraid to put you in places of power and responsibility because they now think you won’t be able to get the work done. So, I decided to be my own boss and start my own business (I have 7 businesses now), and I’m very proud of what I’ve accomplished. I’ll be talking about this later when I write a blog series offering career advice, and how to start your own business—It will be amazing!
One way I managed to get shit done is by writing out my goals and making sure I stick to them. It’s worked wonders and has allowed me to stay focused. We all know how hard it is to stay focused being bipolar because we already have a lot on our plate, and it’s a sensitive battle, especially when certain events can trigger a manic episode. But, take a look at this template, which has proven to work well for me and hopefully can help for you:
Let’s all create a game plan for February 2017 and give each other an update at the end of the month.
I believe you are in control of your ultimate destiny, even though, at times, it may seem harder than before. However, just the fact that you are in control means you have the ability to manage, and create, situations that give you a mental high.
Suffering from bipolar has allowed me to really understand my train of thoughts, and I’m able to categorize them as either positive or negative. Today, I want to talk about something special that I suffered with for many years. We all have certain aspects of our lives that play a crucial role every day like relationships, work, health, self-fulfillment, etc., and it’s how we feel about them mentally that makes them either good or bad. For example, if I create a mind-frame that my relationship with my girlfriend is horrible, then that negative thought will haunt me until I can flip it upside down. I’ll admit that many times, it’s horrible and I have to work at it to make things right, but suffering from “bipolar” has caused me to view things negativity even when they are going well.
It’s this part that has caused me the MOST suffering from 1998 onwards. I was officially diagnosed with bipolar in 2000, however, way before that, I had to deal with conflicting thoughts, which affected several parts of my life.