Category : Just My Thoughts

General Just My Thoughts

The Big Four Types of Negative Thinking

Negative thinking will ruin your life. It will take the good out of everything and have you viewing the world in a darker light. Constant negative thinking leads to depression, anxiety and makes you resent people. It was the biggest roadblock I had when learning to control and conquer bipolar disorder. It can be hard to recognize negative thinking especially when you’ve been caught in a pattern for too long. This is when your negative thought pattern becomes automated and really takes over your life. However, there’s always hope but you first need to recognize that your caught in a negative cycle. Then, you can identify the type of negative thinking you are doing. For example, many psychologists have identified four types of negative thought patterns. They have also stated how many of them do overlap each other.

By knowing the different types, you can start to come up with heathier alternative patterns to overcome those negative ones.

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General Goals Growth Just My Thoughts

I Had a Job Interview and Wasn’t Selected… Now What?

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been searching online for a steady job that will provide me with much needed income. In February 2017, I lost my main freelance contract. This hit me hard both mentally and financially. The contract that had ended provided me with steady work throughout the months. This meant a decent cashflow too. Since then, things have been tough because I’ve only managed to find small odd jobs through ProBlogger jobs. I kept pushing forward, and finally heard back from a company looking to hire a full-time content marketer. This was a perfect job for me because I have more than 2-3 year’s experience writing content, managing writers, keeping deadlines, collaborating with other writers, and researching. I filled out the application, provided some writing samples, and was happy to hear back the very next day. The company had several applicants so they decided to put everyone through the pre-screening process. Here’s what was required…

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Changing Habits Growth Just My Thoughts

How These 15 Small Things Make Me a Happier Person

I’m always looking for inspiration, something that keeps me growing and moving forward. Several years back, after my bipolar diagnosis in January 2000, it was tough because I didn’t know what to expect. Personally, I didn’t think I would ever be happy because there’s this stigma associated with someone living with bipolar. People think when someone has bipolar they are damaged goods and can’t excel at things that others are excelling at. Anyways, I’m here to tell you they are completely wrong. I’ve managed to accomplish some of my dreams and am working towards conquering others. But, for you to conquer and stay motivated, you need to find happiness in the smallest things. By doing this, you attract positive energy into your life and know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Every day, I’ll do these 15 small things that give me a reason to live and truly be grateful for what I have. This works to provide the positivity I need to be happy. I want you to utilize these same awesome ways to be happy too.

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General Just My Thoughts

How Do You Define Happiness?

Can you define what is the meaning of true happiness?

This has been a question I’ve wrestled with for so many years, and I’m still trying to figure it out.

Is it having a lot of money? A large social circle? Being mentality strong? Marrying the man/woman of your dreams? Or none of these? It’s a tough question for me because every time I feel like I’m heading in the right direction something always happens which makes me rethink things. The mistake I’ve been making is that I look at external factors to define happiness for me, and this turned out to be the main factor in why things didn’t align correctly. When you start to not look at external things to define your expectations, it’s only then you’ll be able to truly be in complete control.

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General Just My Thoughts

Today I’m Officially Out of A Job…Now What?

Got some bad news today.

For those of you who didn’t know, I earn most of my money through freelance writing content and designing and setting up social media accounts. For the last couple of months, I’ve been working with three major clients, and this put pretty good money in my pocket. But, today all of these contracts ended quickly with no explanation; (this normally happens when working remotely with companies in another country.) All they told me was they no longer have contracts with their clients and have to start cutting back. So, I’m officially out of a job and will be living off my past earnings for the next couple of weeks.

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Communication Growth Just My Thoughts

How Do I Stop the Voices (Noises) In My Head?

Managing bipolar effectively takes patience because it takes time to find out what works well for you. For example, in the last 17 years, I’ve learned to take everything with a grain of salt, and have trained myself to always take a step back before defining any situation. This is important to me because when I would listen to the negative noise in my mind, it would cause unnecessary stress, attracting more negative energy. I’ve written about the power of positive energy and that what you put out is what you let in.

In other words, negative energy attracts negative thoughts and vice versa with positive energy attracting positive thoughts. Bipolar disorder is a mental illness and the way you define situations and view your environment can play a major role in managing triggers. Would you agree that stress, anxiety, sleep pattern, and certain events in your life have been known to trigger a manic episode? I know for certain after living and managing bipolar for 17 years that the onset of stress because of a big event or work would be a definite trigger in my life.

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Growth Just My Thoughts

Have I Changed or Medication Changed Me?

This is something I’ve been asking myself for several years now, and it’s hard to figure out an answer. I’ve been living with Bipolar since mid-2000, and have been on different medications over the years. However, I’ve had so many experiences over the last 16 years, it’s tough NOT to ask how these have shifted the way I communicate, interact, control emotions, or even react. I believe transformation is the true cure for Bipolar because you learn so much about yourself, and make adjustments to handle triggers more effectively. I can tell you transparently, some of the things which use to bother me 7 years ago, don’t bother me anymore. Here’s something else,

The things that bothered me would be responsible for triggering manic-episodes, and now that I can control my feelings towards certain situations, I’m able to control my mood swings. However, the question I battle with once in a while is – Have I changed or the medication changed me?

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Communication General Just My Thoughts

Why Beating Bipolar Is So Damn Hard

Bipolar disorder can be very confusing because you’re always second guessing every emotion. For example, the normal human emotions I’ll twist around into something which I feel are caused by bipolar. When I’m too emotional or confused, I’ll automatically blame it on my disorder, even though, this is something felt by those NOT suffering from bipolar. If you’ve read my previous blog posts, then you know how much emphasis I give to self-learning, and finding ways to understand my trigger points. However, I face an even bigger problem which I’ve just realized.

Life can bring some very tough situations, and every-day when I head out I really don’t know what to expect. No matter how much I’ve tried to understand my triggers, and avoid situations which put me in a crummy mood, I find myself with a new battle. When my parents told me to appreciate every single day because I’ll never get this time back, I’ve learned to be grateful for the opportunities I have. However, I’ve also learned it’s important to always have my guard up because of the negative energy I could experience at any given time.

Here’s the problem,

When you don’t trust your emotions because bipolar makes you feel like your different, and have to experience new emotional challenges, you begin to question a lot. I remember asking myself:

Is this normal or do I feel this way because I have bipolar?”


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Communication General Just My Thoughts

What We Can All Learn from Nicole Madison Lovell

Do you know the story of Nicole Madison Lovell?

If you haven’t heard about her, especially her story, then it’s important I shed some light. I was actually thinking about NOT writing about her awful story, but felt we all can learn something from what happened. I often sit around pitying myself because I’ve had to learn to live with bipolar, and this has interfered with my perception of reality. I mean, in the end, I’m very lucky to be alive, healthy (when you find a balance), and have loved ones around me. Most of all, I’ve been able to live life the way I want because over the course of 16 years, I’ve been able to understand bipolar and how to control it.

In the dark cloud of pitying myself, I sometimes forget how others have suffered more, and how they were able to get back on their feet. Nothing is more convincing than the recent story of Nicole Madison Lovell. Now here’s a 13-year old girl who was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, a form of cancer. Here’s a definition from

“Non-Hodgkin lymphoma (also known as non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, NHL, or sometimes just lymphoma) is a cancer that starts in cells called lymphocytes, which are part of the body’s immune system.”

Nicole spent 6 months in a coma and had a 1% chance of survival, but she beat the odds and lived. She did struggle while growing up as others made fun of her, which is the normal drill in Grade 7 simply because you’re dealing with so many immature kids. However, here is where the story takes an awful turn.

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Communication General Just My Thoughts

Life in Times Square (Battling With Bipolar)

This is a guest post by Grace Lyons.

I have been on psychiatric medication since 1997, and medication for bipolar since 2002. Since 2002, I have been on heavy sedatives because without them, I tend to be constantly in what is called – a mixed state. This is hell on earth where you experience mania, and depression simultaneously. My best description of this is to imagine sitting in the middle of Times Square. There are blinking billboards, crowds, noise, yelling, cars honking, action everywhere you turn, and it doesn’t matter that you are crying or sad. At the same time, you are also wildly agitated, and caught up in all the stimulation which makes you feel slightly funny. Music plays in your head on a constant loop as if you are near a street player who knows only a few phrases of two different songs.

The people shouting, and cars honking become part of the mass of racing thoughts filling your head. You are extremely happy, and sad at the same time while you battle to control these emotions, however, it’s hard to control what you are feeling.

The sedating medications have never taken this completely away for me, but when they work, they have slowed it down to a speed I can process. I might be uncomfortable but I can tell you what’s going on, and it is more like the annual art festival in my small town than Times Square.  It’s not calm, but it is manageable.

Since 2007, the main sedative I have taken has been the anti-psychotic, Quetiapine (Seroquel).  I’ve done well on it.

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